Obsessed and depressed?

It seems like I have been playing to one song after a today to try to get Steven out of my mind but nothing will work. I’m driving my self insane "what if he's cutting?" "What if he's thinking abut breaking up?" "What if what if what if what if what if!!!" I do this all the time....I hate it. IV worried my self sick. I have cryed every bit of eyeliner off today! In eyelinerless! IV watching 2 horror movies, but they had scene, and that didn’t help....and YES I THINK ABOUT HAVEING WITH STEVEN! I REALLY DO!!! IT SCARES ME SHITLESS!! So I gaped the push pin and scd, and scd, and scd till I saw a little blood then I squeezed it and licked the blood. I’m all jumpy, and scarred, and **** my room is my own insane aslime!! It was raining! Guess what??? Only thing I could think about is KISSSING STEVEN IN THE RAIN! He's taking over my mind....this is worse then obsessing...........IV been obsessed be fore, but nothing like this! Please help me!!!!